Sorry, but I’m about to be extremely negative, but I just need to get this out. So, the past several days I have eaten like shit. I’ve been ill (well, more like injured) and extremely depressed/anxious, so I’ve used that as an excuse to stuff myself like a farm hog. I will be more positive from here on out (at least I’ll try). I’m getting back on track tomorrow diet wise. I’m working on getting myself on a semi-normal sleep schedule. I just have no idea where my life is going. I have no structure, no direction, and no assistance in removing myself from this rut I’m in. I feel wretched about myself today. I feel ugly, disgusting, and worthless. My family is starting to become annoyed with me and I feel like I’m a burden. A family member even referred to me as a parasite last month. That’s honestly what I feel my worth equates to. Blah. Now I just sound like a whiny self-obsessed bitch.:(
(Source: unearthing-perfection)
So, a guy I kind of know (one of my sister’s friends) sent me a message on Facebook that was literally just: “8=====D ♥.” A penis and a heart. I have no idea what it means, but the first thing I thought of was that he must be making fun of the fat girl. Why else would a guy contact me if not to ridicule me? la la la la la I’m fucked up.
Thank you! That’s nice of you to say. I’m technically overweight though. I’ve gained this weight by overeating, and I’m not comfortable at this size. I’m not meant to be a big girl. I’m built to be a smaller person so I’m literally weighed down by all of these excess pounds.
24 May 2012
- 1 cup Kashi cereal: 140 calories
- 1 cup almond milk: 35 calories
- Orange: 100 calories
- Greek yogurt (nonfat): 120 calories
- Salad (lettuce, grilled chicken, a few croutons): 250 calories
- 20 almonds: 160 calories
- Salad (lettuce, grilled chicken, a few croutons, and I was bad and had dressing!): 440 calories
- 8 mini pretzels: 100 calories
TOTAL: 1345 calories
I feel guilty for going over 1200 calories, but I can do better tomorrow. Damn. I hate when I go over my maximum.:(
(Source: unearthing-perfection)
23 May 2012
- 20 almonds: 160 calories
- Turkey club sandwich: ≈750 calories?
I probably overestimated the calories on the sandwich, but I’d rather be under for the day than over. It probably seems like I didn’t eat enough, but I wasn’t all that hungry. Plus, I woke up late. I felt really guilty about the sandwich, because I shouldn’t have eaten bread. I’m trying to stay away from complex carbs. I’ll do better tomorrow.:)
(Source: unearthing-perfection)
22 May 2012
- 20 almonds: 160 calories
- banana: 100 calories
- Amy’s organic spinach pizza pockets: 380 calories
- Golden Grahams cereal bar: 250 calories
- Orange: 100 calories
TOTAL: 990 calories
I could have eaten healthier today, but I suppose I didn’t do all that terrible. Normally I eat tons of vegetables. Today was just a rather lazy day. Sigh. I know this is less calories than I’m technically supposed to eat, but only by about 110 calories. I honestly wasn’t very hungry.
